THE POWER BEHIND OVERCOMING FEAR

Researchers are getting a handle on a big problem facing our children: fear is a huge issue for many children coming from trauma and neglect backgrounds where their needs were not met in consistent, nurturing ways in early life. Science is unraveling the mystery of the neurobiology of fear and the body’s amazing fight, flight, and freeze responses designed to survive a traumatic event. 

Clinicians see that with sustained danger and no one to help them, children eventually believe that they are alone in the world without anyone to meet their needs, so they develop survival skills in place of trusting others to care for them. Practitioners are recognizing that hurt children still use the fear-based survival strategies they learned prior to coming to their new foster or adoptive home, despite now living in stable, caring homes.

It is vitally important to learn how to recognize your child’s trauma-based needs that are born out of fear, and learn to promote felt safety in your home to disarm the core fear issues driving their survival behaviors. Yes, it is a daunting task to dive into a child’s deeply ingrained fear responses, but it is a necessary one, in order for your child to heal.

But fear is a funny thing. It sticks its ugly head in places it doesn’t belong. And if you are parenting a fearful child (whether that’s your foster or adopted child or your resident child) but feeling stuck at helping them heal, chances are fear has a hold on you too, in some area. It is an ailment common to humanity. Science is getting a handle on the PROBLEM. But what we truly need is a connection with the Solution.

A loving Father is ready to take hold of your hand, when you extend it to Him, to help you through your own fear. It is only in this connection to Him (clinging to Him) that fear dissipates in your life and you receive the authority to cast out fear in your child’s life. There are resources available to help you create an environment of felt safety for your child, to help them deal with their fear, but first you yourself need to walk in fearlessness by taking hold of your own Safety Source. 

What do you do when you fear God, not in awe-some reverence, but because you are afraid to reveal yourself to Him? Do you fear His rejection? Are you back in the Garden after eating from the Tree, trying to hide your sins from God and yourself? Let Him help you with your fears.

Here are 5 verses showing the True Power behind overcoming fear, that you can talk to the Father about, asking Him to take away the fear. God wants your child set free of fear and you set free of fear, even more than you do. Turn each verse into a heart-felt prayer to the Father. Then thank Him for His safety and security in your life.

1. “Fear not; for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you yes, I will help you; yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.”- Isaiah 41:10
2. “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” – Psalms 27:1
3. “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” – 2 Timothy 1:7
4. “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world gives, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”– John 14:27

5. “There is no fear in love; but perfect love drives out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18

For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. 2 Chronicles 16:9 NASB

The word translated completely in the above verse is shelem in Hebrew, derived from the same root as the word shalom. Shalem is an adjective meaning whole or complete and also signifies wellbeing of every kind such as security, contentment, sound health, prosperity, peace, and tranquility of mind and heart. God longs to show Himself strong to protect those who trust in Him. Isn’t that the heart’s cry of every good parent toward their child, that they respond in love to our words? How much more so should we respond to the Father’s Words?

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do. Hebrews 4:12-13 NASB

Let the Father into the deepest places of fear in you. Let Him transform your own fear into a loving trust for Him. Then you are in a better position to guide your child through their fears.